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an accurate description on how it is like ...

LIVING WITH DEPRESSION

...kung naniniwala ka sa diyos, try mo basahin psalms 91. Pag may depression na nangyayari sa akin, yan lang binabasa ko and then prayer...gumagaan na loob ko.

lahat ng depression panandalian lang iyan. ang tanong ngayon eh ... how do you want to tackle the problem? gusto mo ba mawala agad or ma-stuck sa iyo ng matagal. ngayon kung wala kang gagawing paraan eh ikaw din ang mahihirapan.

iyong death in the family, social life ... dapat weeks lang iyan or a few months na get over mo na. namatay father ko, masama loob ko ng one week ang hirap mag work, then uwuwi ako ng pilinas to see his body. pagdating ng 3rd week at nalibing na siya, gumimik na ako at nagpalawan. okay na ako


iyong love life. pag dating mo ng edad 30 yrs old matatawa ka lang sa sarili at iisipin mo na bakit kailangan ma depressed. dapat you have to sell your self. paano ka magugustuhan ng isang girl kung tambay ka sa bahay. maghanap ka ng trabaho, change your image, find new friends, mag shopping ka .... yes mag shopping ka para palitan mo iyong mga luma mong damit. formal look like sa mga korean tv drama ganon ang pormang gayahin mo haha. Mag date ka ng mag date ... porket nagdate ka ng girl eh nililigawan mo na, hindi dapat ganon ang mentality. ayon ang minsan ang problema ng mga filipina, niyaya mo lang lumabas eh akala nililigawan mo na. hindi ba puwedeng friends lang muna? group date is fine. tsaka kung highschool or college ka at wala kang love life eh siguro dapat pag-aaral ang dapat mong atupagin kaysa ma depressed ka ng ganyan.

iyong gossip ... hindi na pinoproblema iyan, either you entertain it or balewala mo lang or find a new set of friends para walang gossip.

iyong accident or natural disaster, hindi mo kasalanan iyon so bakit mo dapat sisihin ang sarili mo at mag-isip ng isip. ikaw lang gagawa ng depression sa sarili mo. nangyari na eh, so deal with it and face it and make an adjustment or solution.

iyong family problem, spouse problem eto ang dapat mong pagtuunan ng importansiya. kausapin mo agad sila at gumawa ng solution. kung kailangan ninyo kumuha ng mag advise sa professional, family friend or church, then get their help. mas maganda eh kausapin ang mga tao na nagdaan sa ganyang problema.

iyong money problem. madali lang solution diyan, dapat mag-ipon ka habang bata ka pa. oh kaya naman mag hanap ng maganda trabaho or opportunity or side line. huwag kang gumastos sa ng sobra sobra sa kinikita mo. kung kailangan mo kumuha ng life insurance, burial service insurance or health insurance eh kumuha ka para hindi ka mahirapan kung may darating na emergency. tsaka huwag ka mag pautang! again huwag ka mag pautang .. thank na iyon. sabihin mo umutang sila sa bangko.

just my two cents

reading motivational quotes sometimes helps me cope with depression but more often than not, i still wish shooting myself in the head would be a much better option.

Im suffering from this right now....

Makakatulong ba ang paglalaro ng video games?

Short term solution lang ang gaming sa ganito kasi libangan lang naman sya. As soon as you're done playing and you find yourself all alone mararamdaman mo na naman yung depression and yun yung hassle dun. Mahirap iwasan to lalo na pag alam mo na wala ka masyado options to free yourself from the problems you're currently facing - as in wala ka talaga alam na possible solutions OR nagawa mo na lahat ng magagawa mo pero talagang hindi masolusyunan ang problema mo ...except of course, death na lang.

Baka makatulong yung pag-share ng kung ano mang problema nyo dito sa thread?

Ako kahit depressed minsan basta hindi bored kaya ko pa. Pero kapag depressed ka na nga, bored ka pa at samahan pa ng stress at problema, dun minsan napapaisip ako ng masamang bagay. Pero hanggan isip lang, di ko kayang gawin.
Kaya ako I always keep busy, not just playing games or watching movies but also cooking, playing with my nephews and nieces.
For me talaga, the key to battling depression is not to be bored. Kahit sabihing ng iba na escaping from reality, it works for me.

The root of my depression stems from the fact na until now nakikitira pa rin ako dito sa in-laws ko sa Batangas. And despite my best efforts, konting taas lang ng boses ko sa mga anak ko, negative agad napapansin nila sa akin. And i'm also surrounded by condescending people, kagaya ng hipag ko na napakagaling makialam sa lahat tapos sasabihin nagmamalasakit lang.

Gusto ko sana bumukod na talaga kaso on my case it's easier said than done. Walang magbabantay sa mga bata which my in laws are doing for the last 6 years...Syempre thankful ako sa lahat at napaka lalim ng utang na loob ko sa kanila pero wag naman sana sila mag take control ng buhay namin dito porke't nakikitira lang...

Adding to that aspect, my wife doesn't want to be away with her parents...To think napakalakas pa naman nila at wala naman meron sakit sa magulang niya pareho...Hindi raw nya kaya iwan magulang nya...

I'm depressed because of the fact that until now i cannot afford a roof of our own for my family's heads, something that i can call my own...I'm depressed because there's a lot of people na nagmamagaling at sinasabing napagdaanan na raw nila lahat yan, etc etc...Blah blah blah...

Mine comes from two things:

My parents does not appreciate everything i do for them and never listens to what i say. Pero pag ibang tao dun sila mas nakikinig at nagpapasalamat.

@DarkRushBeat
I'm not a married man..And I have never experienced what you are going through right now. Pero hanga ako sa'yo sir. It takes a stronger man to let go, set aside his ego and emotion, and avoid confrontations. I would assume nagusap na kayo ni misis about this. If not, that would be the best first step at least to release some of the pressure. Usap as in, not her just listening to what you have to say.. you have to actually make her understand and feel what you are going through right now. Kapag may nangyaring hindi mo gusto or the in-laws cross a line, tell her. But don't scold her about it. You have to make her understand and maybe even share your pain. Perhaps that could convince her to move out.

@DarkRushBeat:
Pwedeng idahilan sa in-laws na kung hindi didisiplinahin ang bata, habang bata pa, pagsisisihan ng magulang yun paglaki nila. Opinyon ko lang

@grayfox17:
Di kaya dahil may expectations sila sayo at yun ang gusto nilang makita kaya pag iba ang nakita nila sayo, negative pa rin sa kanila?

Daniel wrote:@grayfox17:
Di kaya dahil may expectations sila sayo at yun ang gusto nilang makita kaya pag iba ang nakita nila sayo, negative pa rin sa kanila?

Kahit sino namang magulang may expectation sa anak. Yung sa parents ko mataas yung sa kanila - hanggat di mo binibigyan ng bahay yan hindi magreregister na natulungan mo na sila. It's annoying kasi pakiramdam ko parang "failed investment" ako bilang anak na kahit anong gawin ko hindi pa rin nila ma-appreciate yung mga nagawa ko sa kanila kahit na maliit na bagay lang.

Most of the time I can manage naman pero kasi nakakabuwisit lang na lumalaki ka tapos ang nakikita mo mas appreciative pa sila sa nagagawa ng ibang tao para sa kanila kesa sa aming mga anak. Yung nasasasaksihan mo na mas vocal sila mag "thank you" sa mga tauhan nila sa negosyo or even sa mga pamangkin pero sa sariling anak poker face lang sila. Nakakawalang ganang tumulong pag ganun kaya most of the time sinosolo ko pera ko at hanggat maaari hindi ako nalapit sa kanila for favors. Pag kaya ko gawin mag isa ang isang bagay ako na mismo ang kikilos para lang makaiwas sa sumbat nila.

javaChip56 wrote:@DarkRushBeat
I'm not a married man..And I have never experienced what you are going through right now. Pero hanga ako sa'yo sir. It takes a stronger man to let go, set aside his ego and emotion, and avoid confrontations. I would assume nagusap na kayo ni misis about this. If not, that would be the best first step at least to release some of the pressure. Usap as in, not her just listening to what you have to say.. you have to actually make her understand and feel what you are going through right now. Kapag may nangyaring hindi mo gusto or the in-laws cross a line, tell her. But don't scold her about it. You have to make her understand and maybe even share your pain. Perhaps that could convince her to move out.

Spoken with her so many times ago, but still, she can't let go of the fact na kapag bumukod kami ay malalayo siya sa kanila..Bunso eh...

Sabi ko ok sige, there's still a small plot of land which we can possibly build our home...Hindi kita ilalayo sa parents mo pero we need to have a small home of our own...

Sa totoo lang, ayokong maghari harian dito sa bahay na ito..Who am i do to that, nakikitira lang ako dito, sampid kumbaga...

Pero mamatay man mga tsong, i'm doing my best para makisama...Nobody in this house tells me do such, pero ako mismo nag lilinis ng bahay, taas-baba every weekend dati, ngayon every M-W-F...I clean any unwashed plates i can see...I do the laundry (which includes my parents in law's na rin), everything...When i do my usual monthly grocery, nagdadamay na rin ako ng ilang items like mantika, laundry powder, etc etc...

Hindi rin naman ako nagdadamot..Everytime i needed to go to town, palagi akong may dala pabalik sa mga nagbantay sa mga anak ko, usually food or pang dagdag sa uulamin sa gabi...

Kumander will be back from her training in QC mamaya & we'll have a sitdown to talk things over, kasama byenan ko at hipag ko..Wish me luck & hopefully magkaayos na kami pero i am pointing out pa rin na kailangan na namin magkaroon talaga ng maliit na bahay within the compound...

^ Errmm... within the compound? Sino may ari ng small plot of land na yun?
Sorry to say this pero kung in-laws mo pa rin ang may ari niyan, better yet wag na lang. Hindi ka rin totally magiging at ease kasi alam mo na hindi ikaw ang nakapag-provide niyan.
Mag-canvass kayo ni misis mo. Kung ayaw niya sumama, kahit ikaw na lang. Hanap ka ng kahit vacant lot muna. At least 1st step na ito sa pag-bukod nyo and at the same time, giving your wife and your in-laws time to adjust for the upcoming change (that you and your family will soon move out of their 'poder').

Naranasan namin ni misis yan. 1st year of marriage namin ay dun kami nakatira sa parents ko. Nung nanganak na siya, lumipat naman kami sa parents niya for 1 year too. May mga challenges din kaming hinarap lalo na sa pakikisama sa mga parents and in-laws namin. During those 2 years na nakikitira kami sa mga parents namin ay nag-hahanap naman kami ng lot na pwede namin mabili.
On the 13th month old of our daughter, we moved into our own home.
We purchased a 150sqm lot in Fairview, and the small house we are living now is gift to us by my parents (may konting contribution din ako kahit paano sa pag-papagawa).

Sn@kemaru wrote:^ Errmm... within the compound? Sino may ari ng small plot of land na yun?
Sorry to say this pero kung in-laws mo pa rin ang may ari niyan, better yet wag na lang. Hindi ka rin totally magiging at ease kasi alam mo na hindi ikaw ang nakapag-provide niyan.
Mag-canvass kayo ni misis mo. Kung ayaw niya sumama, kahit ikaw na lang. Hanap ka ng kahit vacant lot muna. At least 1st step na ito sa pag-bukod nyo and at the same time, giving your wife and your in-laws time to adjust for the upcoming change (that you and your family will soon move out of their 'poder').

Salamat Bro..Pero tama ka...This whole compound is owned by my in laws...Well kanina nag usap usap na kami, they've made me realize my mistake pero sila never sila nag addmit ng mistake nila..Just for peace's sake, ok sige....Pero i've also spoke with my wife about possibly building our own turf sa small plot of land nga dito..I even suggested modular housing para maka menos...Ayaw. Gusto conventional na bahay..

Sabi ko, alright...Pero i need my bedroom/home office to be soundproof so i don't hear any BS outside...Meron silang kamag anak a stone's throw away from here na mahilig mag videoke sa gabi...I'm sick of that...Saka yung ate nyang magaling, akala mo nasa Nepa Q Mart ka pag nagsalita na yun, palengkera ang ugali...

I've also told her about my applications abroad & should i just get a decent offer sa mga inapplyan ko, then its time to prove myself....Sabi ko maybe her & my kids absence for the next 2-3 or 4 years away from them will make me a better man....Baka by that time mas mahaba na pasensya ko sa mga in laws ko na condescending...

As per Kumander, hopefully makapagpasimula na raw next year pero by her tone i still have doubts...Talagang ayaw nya mahiwalay sa parents nya...Ewan...Sometimes i really wish i have a time machine so i can go back from the very beginning and kick myself in the rear a hundred times....

which is why bago ako nag 30 y/o i already made up my mind not to have a family of my own. Alam ko na hindi ko rin kakayanin kaharapin yung mga ganyang klaseng problema kaya inunahan ko na lang din sarili ko. I even made sure my parents and siblings know about it too as early as possible. Sinasabi ko talaga wala akong plano mag asawa at magka anak kasi ayoko sa ganung klaseng buhay at para wala na rin sila i-expect sa kin.

Here i am ATM giving suggestions to Kumander about prefab homes instead...Sabi ko mas makakamura at makakamenos kami dito & we can finally have our much awaited home within 2 months...Sana maliwanagan....