Heart Attack Thread (Usapang busted, Lovelife, atbp)

[summer_fox]

@charlie tama ka boss, medyo nakakasira nga ng bait at wala ako pwedeng kontrahin sa mga sinabi mo, on point lahat. Ako lang talaga ang may problem, I'm still stuck in the past.

@deathzero
Tingin ko TEXT SPEAK VIOLATION ideal partner, relative sa point in time ng buhay mo.

[charliedrama]

Pards babae lang yan, nainfatuate ka lang ulit believe me but she is a thing of the past. Wag mo pagsisiham na kinasal ka pre. Asawa mo iisa lang yan, isipin mo na lang mahal ka nun at masisira din siya pag nalaman niyang ganito mga iniisip mo. Unfair sa misis mo pre..

If you cant come to terms with that na nangako ka kanya na siya lang, worst case scenario you have to tell your wife about this and see how terrible she'll feel. Pero believe me wala ka rin mararating thinking na may pwedeng mangyari sa inyo ng chicks mo from the past.

Pards kung di enough misis mo na marealize mo na siya lang dapat in the first place, take it as a second sign if you will, na lumayo na yung babae sa yo and you will find the logic there.

Good luck sa yo pre. Kasama talaga sa buhay yan ganyang challenge.

[summer_fox]

Thank you sir, medyo nahihimasmasan na ko. Nakakatulong din talaga pag inilalabas at may nakakausap. Wala din kasi ako masabihan nito IRL.

[summer_fox]

Kamusta naman balentayms natin mga brod?
Sana masaya

[javaChip56]

ok naman manood ng deadpool ng solo..

[Daniel]

may kasabay na birthday kaya may celebration lagi. hahaha

[Darkshader]

Hi Guys, bagong salta lang ako dito, medyo makikigulo lang.

Share lang ng kinikimkim kong damdamin:
I'm married since Oct 2014, it is almost a year now. We're happy, or at least I'm trying to be.

Ang problema kasi, there is this girl from my past na di ko makalimutan. She was a HS friend, back then di naman talaga kami close, but we met again 2 years ago when I worked overseas. To cut the story short, I fell in love with her kahit kami pa nung fiancee ko. It was a roller coaster ride until I've decided na panindigan ko ang mga binitiwan kong salita, which is to marry my fiancee.

The first few months after the marriage kala ko ok na ako, na nakabalik ako without regrets and that I will not look back.

With the girl, we stayed as friends for a while, I would message her from time to time just to check if she's doing fine.

Pero one day, I woke up and it hits me. I love her...
I long for her as if I can't live without her. I tried reaching out again but this time she already decided to cut me off from her life. Masakit... but wala naman ako ibang masisisi.

Now, I'm starting to doubt my decisions. Wishing that time travel is real, or at least there is a parallel universe where we are together.

I know, unfair sa wife ko, but I'm trying to be the man she wants me to be.

Sorry po sa drama. Just need an outlet for this.

Iyong lovelife mo parang sa napanood ko na Korean Movie "Architecture 101". Pero etong girl na type mo,eh type ka din ba niya at that time? Naging kayo na ba dati? Type mo siya pero hindi ko sure kong type ka rin ba niya. Tsaka pinutol na niya communications ninyo, clue na iyon na huwag mo na siyang kausapin.

Married man ka bro. You have to stick with your vows and promise sa kanya. Napagdaanan ko na iyan ... "What if?" diba. Pero hindi mo naman malalaman ang tunay ng ugali ng isang tao hanggat hindi kayo nagsasama. You have to be focus to your wife only. Kasi pag enetertain mo iyong ideas at things na makakasira sa marriage mo. Nandiyan lagi si Satan para mag temp at gustong gusto niya sirain iyong pamilya.

[summer_fox]

During those times, yup, I can say we were in love, or at least that's what I know. Pero siguro it was really not meant to be kaya hayaan nalang natin sa ganun. I just hope she's happy as well.

Now, I can say I'm happy and content. Focusing on the now kesa sa past.

Salamat din sa mga nagpayo sakin dito, seriously, this forum was my only outlet that time.

[deathzero23]

I saw this while reading at Reddit.
So I'll leave it here as a sort of a bookmark for everyone.

Some items are applicable or not due to the kind of culture we have here but overall I think it still be usefull in some ways. So here it is...

Here's a list. Disclaimer: every girl is different.

You want to observe her "baseline behavior" and see if she has deviations from that behavior around you. Examples: She talks to everyone, but lingers to talk to you longer. She doesn't talk to anyone, but comes up to you every time she sees you. She doesn't touch anyone, but hugs you a lot.

Women prefer to "create opportunities" for the man to make a move, rather than make a move herself.

She says compliments like, "Hey, I like your shirt." If she keeps walking, no go. If she stays to chat? Stop, talk to her and get her phone number. It's a common piece of dating advice in women's magazines to say something like that to guys. The problem is, men assume the girl likes their clothes, not likes them.

She asks for your opinion on what kinds of girls you like, what clothes you think looks sexy on them, hairstyles, etc. Green flag: you tell her, and she dresses that way the next time you see her. Or she changes her hairstyle if you said you liked a girl's hair down. If she doesn't change fashion but her friend does, she was a wingwoman to gather info for her friend to date you.

She comes up with excuses to hang out together alone, e.g. homework, studying, working on a project, etc. But she spends more time flirting with you than talking about the task at hand. You're supposed to flirt back. Green flag if you're not even in the same classes or she does not need help studying.

She asks you to help her with easy stuff. Key is she's over-the-top grateful and doesn't want you to leave.

She's always "around." When you arrive at class, when you leave class, at the coffee shop you like, when you're at an event, etc.

She's gotten off work and has no reason to stay. You're the reason she wants to stay (if you both work together). If she's at work but says when she gets off work--she wants to hang out with you after.

She preemptively mentions being single or she's alone (like at an event). Or that she's broken up with her boyfriend.

She gives you her phone number without you even asking for it. Or she gets your number from someone else.

She finds out you're into some hobby, cause or interest. She asks you more and more questions and finally asks for your number. Bonus points is if she asks you to teach her, especially one-on-one. "Teach me" usually means, "Demonstrate your skill and sweep me off my feet."

She brings up a movie she wants to see, a bar or restaurant she wants to check out, a party that's happening, etc. Especially if she says, "But I have no one to go with" while looking at you. She wants you to ask her out on a date to that thing.

A shy girl's stealth way of asking you out is to casually bring up events, and gauge your reaction. "The music department is having a 'Battle of the Bands' competition on Friday." "Oh that's cool! What time and where?" "It's on Friday at 7:00 p.m. at the auditorium. Let's go together. Meet me at my dorm at 6:00 and we can grab food beforehand." "Sure, okay." [4 hours later that night] "Wait, did she ask me out on a date?"

"Reminder" date, e.g. "When are you gonna take me for a spin in your car?" "When are we going to watch that TV show at your place?"

"Self-invite" date, e.g. you tell her about a cool bar you went to, and she says, "You should take me there!"

Consistent contact. Calls, texts, likes all your posts on Facebook, sends you pics, etc. Key thing: when you do invite her to hang out in person, she does, and she's eager to. If she constantly flakes, she just enjoys your attention and doesn't want to escalate further. If she acts like this with you while in a relationship with someone else, stay away.

She shares songs, photos, quotes, videos, stories etc. with you related to love. It's a "test" to see if you think about her in those ways.

"Third Party Endorsement." When she expresses what she wants as if it was the opinion of other people. Saying things like: "My friends think we would make a cute couple." "My Mom asked if you're my boyfriend yet 'cuz we hang out together so much." "Since we're alone together in your room, the other people at the party probably think we're hooking up right now."

Hypothetical: "There's this girl that likes a guy but she doesn't know if he likes her." She's the girl. You're the guy.

Touching, hugging, sitting on your lap, holds your hand, puts your arm around her, pulls you onto the dance floor (and dances close), etc. Asks "Have you been working out?" and feeling your biceps or abs. Massages and back rubs (takes off top). Play fighting. Play punches > punch back > escalate to tickle fighting > rolling around on the floor wrestling > you win, but she distracts you by kissing you and you're both making out.

She complains about being cold. If you're outside, put your arms around her. If you're lying down watching TV together, cuddle closer. If she says her hands are cold, hold her hands.

She shows off her body. Bends forward to show you her chest or butt, shows off her legs, answers the door wearing little clothing (or a towel). She's really trying if she tells you to look at her dress, legs, etc. "Look how short my skirt is!" Or she invites you to touch. "I just used a new razor to shave my legs and they're so smooth. Come and feel!" "Can you unzip my dress?" "Un-hook by bra?" "See my piercing/tattoo?"

She finds excuses to remove clothes. Too hot, has to take a shower, change clothes. Key is she doesn't move to another room or close the door or kick you out.

She "steals" something from you--like a hat. You're supposed to chase her into a room and make out. Or takes a small item from you and drops it down her top. License to feel her up.

She "forgets" things at your place so she has a reason to come back--and hook up.

"The Friend Fadeaway." You go out on a group outing with her and friends. They gradually leave until you're alone with the girl, maybe even her house or room. Variation: you show up thinking it's a group outing or a party, but she's the only one there.

If you get sick or injured, she gets more worried and concerned beyond what you think a normal friend would. If she comes over with food and other supplies and plays nurse, it's a big hint.

This happens more often in big cities. But after a night out at a bar, nightclub, or party, when she's ready to leave she asks to split a taxi with you back to her place. And she doesn't mentions sharing a cab with the whole group of friends, just you.

If she has a party at her place, at the end of the night she shoos out all the other guests but wants you to stay. Or she'll come with some excuse that you're too drunk, your home is too far, weather is too bad for you to drive home now, and she insists you sleep over.

She "misses" the last train, bus, etc. so she can sleep over. Or makes excuses not to leave your car.

She brings up sleeping arrangements. She doesn't want you to sleep on the couch (or floor), and insists you share a bed with her.

She mentions how she's home alone tonight, roommate is away, her parents out of town, etc. She wants you to invite yourself over to fool around. Or for you to ask her to come over to your place. Hot tip: text her "coming over" or "come over" and see how she reacts.

Expressing thirst: "I'm so horny!" "I need to get laid tonight" "It's been so long" "I've never fucked in [location you're both in now]."

She kisses another girl in front of you--and wants you to watch. Or invites you into a room to fool around more. How threesomes start. She thinks: if girl-on-girl doesn't turn him on, he's gay. Guy thinks: she's kissing a girl. She's gay.

She asks you out. She's tired of hinting. Straight talk is the last resort.

She says she used to have a crush on you. If she's single, she could be hinting she still has a crush and you should ask her out. He gets hung up on how she used the past tense, and treats it as her saying, "I'm not interested in you now."

Negative tactics. Some girls do these things to attract guys, but they actually repel guys.

She tries to make you jealous. She brags about guys asking her out, flirts with guys in front of you but always looks at you to make sure you see it, etc. She wants to let you know she's "in demand" so you'll want her. The problem is girls are turned on by competition in relationships, while most guys are turned off.

Complain about guys hitting on her. What she means is, "I don't like it when other guys do it, but it's okay for you because I like you." This backfires, because the guy will assume the girl doesn't want him to make a move too.

She bad-mouths any girl you date, because she's jealous of them getting to be intimate with you.

She opens the conversation by insulting you. house_robot explained this really well in another thread.

Quote:

When a girl says, "Oh you're a player aren't you?" its similar to when they say #@*^ like, "Oh you want me to go home with you? You sure you don't have other girls there already?"

Its the female approach to giving a man a compliment: passive aggressively, and couched as an insult. Shes letting you know you have desirable qualities.

When girls say this type of nonsense to you, never confirm or deny it.

It took me a while to realize this was a thing. I'd meet a new girl, she'd break my balls, and I'd be turned off. Hear later she liked me. WTF?

Let's end on a positive note. Here's one more:

Food (+1 if she cooked or baked it herself), gifts, handmade greeting cards, mixtapes, poems or stories she wrote that are about love she wants you to read, etc. Unless she does these for other friends, she's already dreamed about the wedding.

Good luck!

P.S. If you feel bad about missed opportunities, you're not alone.

^Thanks to: gotthelowdown of Reddit

[grayfox17]

^i had this experience from my last work.

Meron akong ka-team na girl (whom i learned from her that she already have a BF from another company) na mula nung napahiram ko ng pera panay na ang dikit at buntot sa kin. She even calls me kuya. As in pag lunch break kahit maluwag ang table talagang tatabi sa kin, pag uwian hahabulin ako at sasabay pa talaga kung san ako sasakay tapos kahit maluwag ang hallway "aksidenteng" babangga pa sa kin. It even came to a point na before i head to the elevator pag out ko nag-cr muna ko and she's waiting for me outside the cr, pag matagal ako lumabas talagang ipagsisigawan pa pangalan ko - nakakahiya kasi rinig pa mismo ng mga ka-team kong lalake.

Medyo naging obvious sa buong team namin yung ginagawa ng girl na pagpapapansin so etong mga kateam ko sinasadyang sabay-sabay lilipat ng table pag lunch para kaming dalawa lang ng girl ang maiwan. Nung umpisa nakikipag usap pa ko ng normal sa kanya pero at the same time medyo naging assuming din ako na baka trip ako nung girl sa pinapakita nyang motibo tapos maganda talaga sya kaya nakaka-peke. Pero all along parang kinukutuban ako ng hindi maganda about her so nag backtrack talaga ako on what made her do what she's doing and after i realized it I decided to just give her the cold shoulder - as in we're chatting one day then the following day totally dinedma ko na sya up until i left the company. I always make sure i log out earlier than her, nagpupunta lang ako cr siguro mga 15 minutes before uwian para pag log off diretso sa elevator na, yung dating daanan namin pauwi iniiwasan ko na, when she comes up to me to ask something i just respond without even looking at her. Feeling ko parang opportunistang ewan yung girl and i hate people who only comes around when they need something. I dont care kung pag usapan kami ng buong team or kung anong maging tingin sa kin ng mga katrabaho ko sa ginagawa kong pag iwas basta ako lumalayo lang ako sa tiyak na kapahamakan.

Kung medyo bata pa ko ng konti at umiral ang topak ko baka pinatos ko yun just for the sake na matikman sya pero nanalig ang common sense ko kaya i did what i had to do. My story might be just another missed opportunity for some pero kasi pag isang tao na-experience nang mabasag ng dahil sa babae/lalake parang magiging default setting na nila yung pagiging cautious. Even the simplest thing na pagpapakita ng interest ng ibang tao syo hindi mo basta-basta papatulan at mapapa-isip ka talaga kung anong pakay nya bago ka gumawa ng move.

Marami at nagkalat ng mga taong paasa, hindi mo sila made-detect agad. Kung mahina-hina ang common sense mo na maramdaman ang "mixed signals" na yun malamang yan pa ang ikapapahamak mo. Minsan kahit na harapan ka nang ginagawang ewan di mo pa rin napapansin kasi nabulag ka na sa isang bagay na wala naman pala. Ang moral lesson kasi sa ganito is ALWAYS listen to your gut instinct. Kahit gaano pa kaliit yan na "kutob" basta naramdaman mo then start paying attention to it. Switch off your emotions for a while and observe on the things happening between the two of you. That gut instinct triggers for a reason kaya dapat laging gamitin ang utak...before it's too late.

[javaChip56]

kamusta buhay buhay mga papi?

[Daniel]

Normal naman papi

[grayfox17]

relax na relax hehe...

[Daniel]

Pampasaya kaya?

Hugot Cafe

[grayfox17]

^pano kaya pag meron silang customer na broken hearted pala? riot siguro dyan haha..

[Daniel]

yun ang magandang ipakita rin

[javaChip56]

I never thought I would find myself again in this similar situtation. Nakikiramdam nanaman kung friendly at polite lang ba ang colleague kaya madalas magsend ng random messages..

[grayfox17]

^friendly advice: wag mag assume.

[javaChip56]

hahaha.. yup! nadale na ako nyan dati.. na-share ko din dito sa thread yung story around 2013.. kaya ngayon mejo ingat na ko at nagpapa advise din sa mga tropa ko..

[grayfox17]

^ganyan din ako sa last work ko, i almost fell victim to that myself PERO nanaig ang common sense kaya nakaligtas ako sa tiyak na kunsumisyon haha...